Signs He’s Not Into You (Abort! Abort! Abort!)

When a guy likes you it’s usually pretty obvious. He’ll flirt with you, smile when you’re around and try his best to make plans with you. That said, it’s also pretty obvious when he doesn’t like you. The problem is knowing how he feels when his actions fall somewhere in between the two.

So if you’re wondering whether or not there’s a potential future with your love interest then consider these signs. If you can relate to more than say one or two, then it may be time to move on.

1. He Takes a Long Time to Respond

If you call and he doesn’t answer, leave a message but don’t hear back for days, or text and it goes unanswered… well then, he’s probably not into you. If a guy is interested in you he will get back to you… sooner rather than later. If he doesn’t respond at all it could be his way of letting you know that he’s not interested.

2. He’s Only Free Late

It’s one thing if the guy you’re into works late or has a strange schedule, but it’s another thing if he’s free all day but only contacts you late at night. If this is the case then he may only want one thing from you… sex. Knowing the difference between when a man likes you and when he considers you a booty call is important. If you’re looking for love, this isn’t it.

3. He Never Takes You On Dates

Unless funds are low then there’s no real excuse for him not to take you on a date. If every time you hang out you’re staying in for a movie night or sharing a homemade meal, then he isn’t trying very hard because he doesn’t care very much. It’s sad, but true.

Putting in minimal effort when it comes to dates is a big red flag that he doesn’t think your “relationship” is worth the effort. If he did want something serious with you he’d be trying you woo you and showing you off to the world. If he’s not, then he’s probably not into you.

4. He Doesn’t Invite You Out

In the beginning of a relationship there will be times when your guy wants to fly solo, and that’s perfectly fine… after all, he may be the kind of guy that likes to take things slow. But if he’s never inviting you to do things then there’s a good chance that it’s because he doesn’t see a future with you.

5. He Doesn’t Want to Meet Your Loved Ones

Introducing someone to your family and friends is a big deal because it’s inviting that person a little bit more into your world. If the guy you’re into has ZERO interest in meeting your loved ones then it’s because he’s not that serious about you. The same can be said about him introducing you to his family. If he never talks about them, or changes the subject anytime they come up then believe me, he’s not planning on having a serious relationship with you.

6. He Ignores You On Social Media

Some guys just aren’t social media people, and that’s cool. He can have an account and barely use it, lots of people do. HOWEVER if the guy you’re into seems to interact with everyone BUT you online then it may be time to take the hint; he’s not into you.

7. He Checks Out Other Women

This one is a big one. It’s true that most men continue to look at other attractive women even after they’ve found the love of their life. That said, if he’s not into you then he’ll have no problem doing so IN FRONT of you. If a man cares about you then he’ll go out of his way to make you feel good about yourself. Gawking at or flirting with other women isn’t one of those ways, which means it’s probably time for you to move on.

8. He Doesn’t Ask Questions

If he doesn’t ask how your day was, where you grew up, what you enjoy doing… in other words, the basics about a person, then he’s not into you. Not to sound harsh, but guys who show little interest in your personal life have little interest in you.

9. He Has No Excuses

Let’s say you ask him to do something with you and he tells you he can’t because he has an early morning or other plans with friends. Fair enough, he has a reason, or excuse if you will, for not spending time with you. On the other hand, if you ask him to do something and he simply says “No” or “I’m just going to stay in” then he’s telling you that he doesn’t want to. Simple as that.

Guys who are into you will want to spend time with you, or at least have a valid reason for not being able to. So, no excuse means he’s not interested.

About Amy North

Amy North is a women's relationship coach and best-selling author from Vancouver, Canada. Her high-acclaimed programs include "Text Chemistry" and "The Devotion System", both of which have helped thousands of women from around the world find (and keep) the man of their dreams.

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  • Hi Amy, when I first met this guy, he was going through his marriage breakup. He has nvr been the person to live by what he says. Lately in April we spend two weeks together in my home and that was the last days of his marriage. He now refer to his wife as his ex. But he has change so much. Doesn’t spend call me as before, flake on me a lot, don’t return my calls or reply my txt messages. But tonight I use one of your txt messages and instantly he txt bck with kisses and heart. If he is not spending time with me and had left his wife who is he spending it with then. He get angry when I am negative and feels that he is seeing someone. What can I do to win him bck.

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