How Do You Tell If They’re “The One” for You?

When you were young, you were probably told that one day you’d find “the one” and the two of you would live happily ever after together. Now that you’re older, you realize there is more to finding “the one” than you thought there would be.

Most people date all kinds of different partner before they find the person that is right for them. These relationships leading up to finding your soul mate can be fun and exciting, challenging and disappointing.

Emotions aside, the point in having relationships along the way is to not only learn things about yourself, but also to make the classic relationship mistakes and learn from them. Every relationship you’ve been in has taught you a lesson to prepare you for when you do find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

How To Know That He’s The One 

If you’re wondering if your seemingly perfect partner is the one for you, consider the facts below. Before you divulge, remind yourself to be honest with your thoughts. After all, you only have you to answer to.

1. You Don’t Want to Hide Anything from Them

When you find “the one” you will confide in them and keep no secrets. You’ll have the tough talks about exes, cheating, and STDs, fill each other in on chronic illness, felonies, your thoughts on marriage and children, and learn about one another’s desires, goals, dreams and doubts.

You’ll tell them things that you’ve never told anyone else and find a confidence in your voice that you never knew existed. Best of all,  you won’t need to filter the information you share because everything is fair game… even the embarrassing stuff.

2. You Don’t Feel the Need to Snoop

If no one is hiding anything, then what are you looking for? When you find “the one” there’s no reason to be jealous or worried about what your partner is doing or who they’re with when you’re not around.

You’ll believe what they tell you because you’ll know that they love you too much to lie. Without this lingering fear of doubt you’ll be free to live in a blissful state of ease.

3. You Want to Show Off the Relationship to the World

Everyone thought Tom Cruise was insane when he jumped on Oprah’s couch and announced to the world how in love he was, but when you find “the one,” you’ll understand what drove Tom to such dramatic heights.

A big sign that you’ve found “the one” is a desire to want to tell everyone you know how great your partner is and how in love you are. Think of it as winning the jackpot of relationships.

4. They Inspire You to Be a Better Person

When you find “the one” you’ll become more active and social, and start doing all the things you said you wanted to do but just never got around to doing. In many relationships people become content with spending all of their time with their partner, so much so that they let the things that were once important to them slide. When you find “the one,” you’ll experience quite the opposite.

RELATED: How Can I Find Lasting Love?

As much you the two of you will love spending time together, you’ll also inspire and push one another to be the best version of yourselves possible. The right person for you doesn’t mind if you’re running late because you were volunteering or had to put more time in at the office, they’ll be proud of you for challenging yourself and living life fully.

5. You Laugh Together

Laughter is a language of love, and when you find the right partner you’ll spend many hours simply laughing together. This doesn’t mean that your partner has to be a natural comedian or have the same sense of humour as you do, it means that you’re able to loosen up and be your quirky self around this person.

Couples that laugh together are overall happier, and happier couples have longer, healthier relationships. It’s good for the soul and keeps the lovey-dovey feeling alive!

6. You Put Your Partner’s Needs Before Your Own

Humans are inherently selfish, so if you find someone that makes you want to put their wants and needs before your own, that’s special.

That’s not to say that you’ll brush aside your wants and needs, but rather that when you find “the one” you’ll want nothing but the best for them and love them enough to do the little things that make them smile. You’ll even be willing to split your last Reese cup with them.

7. They are Considerate

Most of us dream of finding a lover that is considerate, but when you find “the one” you won’t have to fall asleep to see them. The right partner for you will bring you soup when you’re sick, rub your feet when you’re tired and go to the vet with you when your pet gets sick.

Not only will they do all these things, but they’ll do them without expecting anything in return. Why you may ask, and it’s because they are acting out of consideration for your thoughts and feelings. This type of kindness is the basis of love.

8. You’ll Argue Respectfully

As much as it’s a drag, arguing with your partner is normal. In fact, if you’re not having the occasional tiff with your lover then something is probably missing from your relationship. When arguing, the right partner for you will listen to your side, say their piece, and let it go.

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They won’t hold it over your head or manipulate you with it, and they most definitely won’t be abusive, verbally or physically. When you find “the one” you’ll leave the argument wanting to work things out (even if it means admitting you were wrong,) simply because you don’t like feeling distance between you.

9. You Want to Spend Your Time Together

When you find the right partner you won’t mind if they monopolize all of your time, in fact, you’ll prefer it. You’ll look forward to seeing your partner, miss them when they’re not around and think about them constantly. And no, this isn’t obsession, it’s love.

10. They Put the Past in the Past

Before you find the right partner you’ll probably reminisce about previous relationships, past lovers, and even ask yourself the proverbial “what if…” When you find “the one” everything that was a part of your love life before loses its significance begins to vanish from your mind.

RELATED: How Can I Stop Sabotaging My Relationship?

You’ll no longer think about the past because with the right person in your life, you’ll be completely present.

11. You Can be Yourself Around Them

Your perfect partner will make you feel comfortable about all the things that make you who you are. You can be yourself around them and regardless of whether you’re wearing your best outfit or old sweatpants, they won’t judge you because their love is unconditional.

With “the one” you won’t need to hide things about yourself, be nervous about sharing your feelings, or ashamed of what you believe in. You can relax around them not worry about forcing conversation. In short, you get to be you!

12. You are Incredibly Attracted to Them

A healthy relationship requires a healthy sex life, which means that you’ll be incredibly attracted to your Mr. or Mrs. Right. You’ll ravage them on a regular basis, fantasize about them when they aren’t around, and be willing to experiment with each other’s sexual desires. If he’s the one, you’ll find him irresistible

When you do make love you’ll feel a closeness between you that is more than skin deep, and the idea of sleeping with the same one person every night will have never sounded sweeter. 

How Do You Tell If They're "The One" for You?

About Amy North

Amy North is a women's relationship coach and best-selling author from Vancouver, Canada. Her high-acclaimed programs include "Text Chemistry" and "The Devotion System", both of which have helped thousands of women from around the world find (and keep) the man of their dreams.

4 Comments

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  • interesting points! i’ve had all these with the woman I’m dating now. never felt so lucky! the only problem we have now is other people are against our relationship and is spreading rumors and stuff. any tips on what to do about it?

    • Ignore them. Haters gonna hate!
      In all seriousness though, that’s the best thing you can do. If you and your lady are happy than good for you guys. The people wasting their time spreading rumours or saying nasty things will eventually become bored and move on to something else. It’s only when you fuel them with responses or attention that they’ll keep going. Brush it off and don’t let them ruin a good thing.

  • I experienced allthe above in a long distance relationship that was leading to a title and him constantly asking me how do i feel about him. I finally expressed my feelings after feeling bad and two months later, I did everything from you’re losing interest blog and he lost interest and ghost. Do you think we can get back together, if so. What can I do. He’s 8 hours away.

  • I experienced allthe above in a long distance relationship that was leading to a title and him constantly asking me how do i feel about him. I finally expressed my feelings after feeling bad and two months later, I did everything from you’re losing interest blog and he lost interest and ghost. Do you think we can get back together, if so. What can I do. He’s 8 hours away.

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