Why He Doesn’t Text Back (Try This!)

Almost nothing feels worse than that blank screen.

And the longer it takes for him to text you back, the worse it feels.

Why is he leaving you on read?

I’m going to give you the REAL reason that he’s not texting you back. The answer is it’s not as bad as you think.


What you think when he doesn’t text you back:

-He’s a jerk
-He’s playing games
-He hates me!

But there are plenty of other explanations why a guy might not be texting you back and they’re not nearly as bad as what’s going on in your head.

Real Reasons He Doesn’t Text You Back

He’s Busy

This one is easy to overlook. He was replying in seconds and then he suddenly drops off the face of the earth for a whole day?

The most common answer here is not that he suddenly hates you but that something came up and he can’t reply.

It happens to all of us.

Life can be hectic and texting is one of the first things dropped when other things come up, even if we like the person we’re texting quite a bit.

So cut him some slack and don’t sweat it too much. You’d want him to do the same if you didn’t respond, right?

He Doesn’t Know What To Say

Look at your last message. Did you ask a question that requires a long answer? Is there any chance it was unclear or something that he might not want to talk about?

Just like in conversation, some things aren’t easy to discuss over text and so he may not know how to answer you and is opting to just ignore you instead.

If this is the case, give it a rest for now and wait for him to approach you again. You don’t want to push.

The Conversation Was Over

Did the conversation come to a natural close? Look at the last messages he sent. Did it wrap up?

You’re not always going to get the goodbye you would with a phone conversation to let you know it has run its course.

That’s why paying attention to the tone of his messages is so important. If you were having a back and forth and his latest answer was short and didn’t require much of a reply then just leave it for now.

He’s Not Interested

This is the one you’re worried about but it’s not as common as you may think. If he’s not interested, he’s hoping you’ll get the message if he just doesn’t reply.

In this case you’ll notice certain telltale signs.


-Do his answers to you get shorter and shorter and further and further apart before stopping entirely?
-Does it seem like he’s just being polite?
-Is he not answering half of your questions?

Look at the tone of his messages compared to yours. If you’re sending emojis and getting back the kind of texts you’d send to your parents, this is a bad sign.

man texting

You’re Overtexting

This is the most common way to get a guy to stop texting you. He’s interested and likes talking to you but you won’t let a conversation go and you’re always texting him at all hours of the day and night.

It’s not your fault.

Texting etiquette can be subtle and the fact that it makes us always available makes it hard to know when to stop.

Try taking a step back and letting him make the first move. If he’s into you, he’s going to reach out.

So how can you get him to text you back?

For most of these scenarios my advice is really just to give it a rest for a bit.

Texting 24/7 isn’t the answer.

Give it a couple days and the next time you speak to one another will be even more special.

If your relationship is serious and he keeps disappearing from texting without a trace, then you should probably sit down and have a talk about what you expect out of his communication.

Be calm.

Neither of you are in the wrong but it is important that he knows your feelings so you two can work out a compromise and figure out the role texting will play in your relationship.

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About Amy North

Amy North is a women's relationship coach and best-selling author from Vancouver, Canada. Her high-acclaimed programs include "Text Chemistry" and "The Devotion System", both of which have helped thousands of women from around the world find (and keep) the man of their dreams.

2 Comments

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  • Hi Amy north I have seen some of you’re videos, it’s looks amazing how much you know about this weird difficult situation in times of internet texting date !

    How to not be to sweet ore to cool.
    When expect to know the person more bye phone sometimes rather then just give it a try by dating but like you say you can’t push because every guy is different.

    I will tell you a bit of my situation,
    I met a guy in my job I was cashier, I never give a number before to a guy.
    So we where texting for 1 month till we met
    We had 1 date to know each other and I slept with him last 2, after that I had my Holliday 1 we keep texting us short simple and sort of cool, like he text me a image from where he is and we who he is 1 a week ore he says randomly I like scubdiving… so just cool massage not dirty ore sweet.
    Know my question is where is he trying to go ?
    He normally take 1 day ore some hours to text me back even if he read it…
    From my opinion I think he trying to act cool.
    My last message was on Thursday when he show me a picture where he met me saying where are you .
    Then I answer oooh you can’t see Maria again in the store.
    Then I told him my day and an image about food… and if he knows what that food is and plus I ask how is day was ?
    So yea maybe a bit to much, I was just thinking to act a bit natural.
    So know it’s saterday 2 days after the message and I’m going back to home.
    Should I just wait ore send him a cool picture for example from the airport remaining him that I’m coming back ?

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