What to Text A Guy You Like (Make Him Obsess Over You)

Before I share what you should be texting the man you’re interested in, lets begin by covering the types of text messages that DON’T attract men.

Mistake #1 – Texting Too Much

I know, I know… you really like this guy and you love talking to him, but being a little bit too aggressive with your texting can send him running. And don’t overwhelm him with novels about how your day went or what your cat was eating that morning. And definitely do NOT bombard him with messages if he’s not responding to you at all… texting him relentlessly is a huge turn off for a guy and it’ll make you appear desperate and needy for attention, which is a HUGE attraction destroyer.

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Being too aggressive is more than just sending him a few too many text messages too. The occasional smiley face or exclamation mark is a good thing – but being too expressive will make you seem insecure and a little try-hard… Every guy has his own “texting style”, but to start, hold off on the excessive dancing and heart emojis for now.

Mistake #2 – Overanalyzing His Texts.

Some of us can freak out when we see the dreaded ‘ok’ text, and it may even feel like a slap to your face… but only if you let it. See, when a guy doesn’t text you back, or texts you something really short and lame, there could be a TON of reasons why… like…maybe his phone is turned off, maybe he’s busy watching the game with his boys, or maybe he’s in a work meeting and forgot to text you back. These things can happen! And while it may seem like he’s really not the into in you, you should never, ever freak out. Keep it cool and always, remember that YOU’RE the prize and HE’S trying to win you over.

Mistake #3 – Sending Boring Texts

While it’s always tempting to just send him a simple “hey, what’s up?” text, you should rarely do this. If a guy’s really worth pursuing, he probably gets text messages like this all the time from girls. Do you really think that’s going to catch his interest? There are a ton of different and interesting text messages that you could be sending – some of which I’m going to cover in a little bit. But a huge part of attracting a guy (and keeping him) has a lot to do with making him “emotionally addicted” to you. And in order to make a man feel attraction to you, you need to learn how to effectively stimulate the emotional centre of his brain.

Now that I’ve covered the top 3 things you should NOT do when texting a guy, let me cover the three kinds of text messages that will make a guy like you…

Text 1 – The Compatibility Text

In many ways, guys are JUST LIKE US in the sense that we always like to talk about ourselves. We like to talk about dating, the music we love, our dreams and aspirations… and men are just the same. As much as you’ll want to talk about your interests, take a step back and ask him genuine questions about his interests… but be specific!

For example, if he’s into hockey, you can ask him something like… “What team do you think will go all the way to the Stanley Cup this year?” …or if he’s into something like Game of Thrones, you can ask him something like, “Who’s your favourite character?” or “If you could live anywhere in Westeros, where would it be?”

In order for a guy to view you as girlfriend or wife material, you have to take a genuine interest in who he is and what he likes… otherwise, if you don’t take a liking to his interests, he won’t feel compatible with you.

Text 2 – The “Challenge” Text

Guys like to be challenged – it’s in their competitive nature… so use this psychological trick to your advantage! To better explain how you can issue a challenge to your love interest, let me jump into an example… say something like…

“So I heard you’re an expert cook… make me something delicious tonight?”

Or here’s another example…

“So you’re a good guitar player, huh? Learn this song for me…”

Guys are always looking to impress the ladies, so use this little trick to make him a lot more interested in you.

Text 3 – The Big Tease Text

In order to really spark his interest in you, don’t be afraid to throw a quick little jab here and there. Remember, guys love to chase women… and by throwing some underhanded “disses” here and there, you’ll make him WANT to seek your approval and chase you. See, guys like compliments just as much as girls do! So by teasing him subtly, you’ll make him want to try and find a way to please you more…

And this is where being witty and funny can make you REALLY appealing to him… so for example, say he said something like, “I had so much fun with the guys at golf yesterday…” you can respond with something like, “Umm, what kind of ‘fun’ did you have guys have?” and you can throw in a little winking face there. Or you could say something like, “Were you able to get a ball in the hole this time?”…and you can add a little smiley face to let him know you’re joking. The possibilities here are endless!

About Amy North

Amy North is a women's relationship coach and best-selling author from Vancouver, Canada. Her high-acclaimed programs include "Text Chemistry" and "The Devotion System", both of which have helped thousands of women from around the world find (and keep) the man of their dreams.

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