How Can I Stay Friends with My Ex?

We all have a friend that’s a breakup champ, no matter how brutally their relationship ends they still manage to slide smoothly into the friend zone with their exes.

How To Be Friends With Your Ex

Now you may be sitting there thinking this is crazy and that it takes some of sort of god or goddess to pull this kind of stunt off, but believe it or not, it’s not that tough to stay friends with your ex.

Here’s how.

Be Sure You’re Over Them

If you want to start a friendship with your ex it’s crucial to be sure that you’re 100 percent, completely and totally over them. A friendship between exes can not exist if feelings are still there.

Give it Time

Breakups happen for a reason so it’s important to give them time to heal before rushing into a friendship. Once some time has passed, then begin working on reestablishing a friendship.

If you rush a friendship or pursue it too soon after a breakup, you’ll be faced with lingering feelings and unnecessary heartache.

RELATED: How Can I Make My Ex Chase Me?

After all, giving your ex a hint of hope that you can rekindle the relationship if you have no intention of doing so cruel, and will only end badly.

Don’t Spend Time Alone Together

The key to being platonic friends with an ex is limiting your hangouts to group activities and avoiding any encounters that could be considered a date. If you’re looking to stay friends then there is no reason you should send your ex signals that say otherwise. The trick is to not do anything that you wouldn’t do with another one of your pals.

Confess Your Feelings

If you and your ex do decide to stay friends after a breakup then agree to be honest and open with your feelings.

This means that if one of you starts to develop feelings for the other again, then you’ll let your ex know rather than keep the emotions bottled up.

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Hiding affectionate feelings for an ex turned friend can be a dangerous and painful path to take.

Leave The Past In The Past

There’s no doubt that you and your ex created and shared memories together, but if you’re looking to be friends then it’s important that you keep those memories in the past.

Talking about the good times you shared may reignite a spark in one of you, whereas talking about the bad will only cause tension and tempers.

If you want to be friends with your ex, then don’t talk about the love you once shared. Simply be friends and let the rest be.

Do Not Flirt

It’s important not to act inappropriately or imply anything sexual with your ex.

The way these type of feelings are usually shared is through flirting, which is why this is something you and your ex shouldn’t do if you wish to be friends.

RELATED: How Can I Forgive My Ex?

Flirting may seem innocent to you, but you could be stirring a pot in their mind. Treat your ex as you would any other platonic friend of the opposite sex.

Don’t Fall Into Old Patterns

While maintaining a friendship with anyone, ex or not, requires occasional contact via phone or computer, don’t start texting or calling your ex on a daily basis. This will inevitably create a false hope of getting back together.

Again, if you’re not looking to rekindle a romantic relationship with your ex, then don’t send signals that say otherwise.

Stay Out of Their New Relationships

If your ex starts seeing someone else after the two of you have agreed to be friends, then stay out of it. Don’t prey or ask questions, make judgemental comments or act passive-aggressively. Even if you cannot stand the person they are dating, it’s important not to share your opinion with them.

Forgive Your Ex

As tough as forgiveness may be, you can never leave your past behind you until you make peace with it and accept it for what it was.

Then and only then will you be ready to love again.

How Can I Stay Friends with My Ex?

About Amy North

Amy North is a women's relationship coach and best-selling author from Vancouver, Canada. Her high-acclaimed programs include "Text Chemistry" and "The Devotion System", both of which have helped thousands of women from around the world find (and keep) the man of their dreams.

2 Comments

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  • When my ex broke up with me I insisted on being friends and she turned me down. Fast forward 5 yr later and now she wants to be friends but I don’t. I don’t think it will work or will it? I cheated on her in the past tho.

    • Hi Charles, first off the reason your text turned down a friendship after you broke up was probably because she knew the pain that would come with it. In fact, many people struggle with the idea of just being friends with someone they once, or perhaps still do love. Your ex probably didn’t want to watch you move on, and can you blame her?

      Flash forward, now she wants to be friends but you don’t. Do you have a reason for that? Do you still have feelings for her? Are you mad at her? Considering you cheated on her and she wants to be friends is pretty bold. Does she know you cheated?

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