Is He Flirting, or Just Being Nice?

Flirting gives you warm, tingly butterflies and can send a jolt of electricity through your veins. When a guy you’re attracted to is flirting with you, you can’t help feel like you’re high.

At the same time, it can be confusing to tell if a guy is flirting with you or just being nice. Is he smiling at you because he finds you cute and wants to date you, or because he thinks you’re a good person and true friend? Instead of reading into every little thing he does, look for these signs to know if he’s flirting or not.

1. He touches your back or arm when you’re talking.

Whether he tries to bring you in close after a funny joke, or lets his hand touch yours when handing you something, then chances are he’s not just being nice. A lot of guys subconsciously try to touch and connect with the women they like. If he seems to be looking for a reason to touch you, he is likely flirting with you.

2. He gets excited when he finds out you’re into the same things.

Excited manHe treats the revelation that you’ve seen his favourite band live more times than he has like he just won the lottery. Sure he may just be excited to have someone to share his passions with, but if he starts using your common interests as ways to chat more with you, then it could be his way of flirting.

3. He whispers.

Maybe the two of you are leaning against a kitchen counter at some house party giving each other the gossip on everyone there, or propped up at the bar going on about something no one else cares about. If he’s trying to break the ice by making you feel like it’s just the two of you in a sea of other people, that guy is flirting. To avoid bringing others into your conversation he’ll speak at a lower than normal volume.

4. He won’t leave your side.

Man clinking glasses with woman at a partyNot in a creepy way; he just has no interest in talking to anyone else at the party, in the office or at the bar. If he’s been given exits to leave the conversation and he hasn’t taken them, he’s either into you or you’re explaining how you have won an Olympic medal. Watch for his body language. If he leans in and turns his shoulder to you while you’re speaking to him, he’s subconsciously focusing on you (and likely flirting)!

5. He jokes about sex.

This is a weird one and too much sexual innuendo is creepy. At the same time if he’s the playful type than making you laugh with his double-entendres may not seem so forward. What he’s trying to do is see if you’re okay with the thought of him and sex, maybe together.

6. He’s smiles when you’re with him.

Man sitting at desk smiling at woman coworkerSometimes people just smile because they’re friendly, but if he’s really grinning at your stories and jokes with a gleam in his eye, that’s an “I’m into this girl and everything she’s saying” kind of a smile. If he’s smiling and politely nodding, that just means he doesn’t want to tell you how boring your story is.

7. He winks at you.

Winking is always flirting, always. The only time winking isn’t flirting is when someone is just really bad at blinking or has something in their eye.

8. He goes out of his way to do nice things for you.

Man placing coffee on a desk.Buying you a drink at the bar is one thing, but if he offers you a ride home, brings you morning coffees, or he comes by to help fix the leaky sink you mentioned, he’s trying to make sure the two of you can see each other again.

9. He’s playful with you.

Letting you see his lighter, more affectionate side is a sure sign that he’s flirting with you. Whether this means he’s slipping you notes or pulling goofy pranks, when a man wants a woman to notice him he’ll make a point to be fun and make her laugh.

10. He remembers what you say.

Man and woman eating pizza togetherWhether it’s a story you tell or your favourite pizza toppings, if he’s taking special interest in you he will remember what you say. When a man flirts with a woman he becomes focused on her every word and engraves them into his brain. Watch for if he remembers details or asks you about things you’ve mentioned weeks beforehand.

About Amy North

Amy North is a women's relationship coach and best-selling author from Vancouver, Canada. Her high-acclaimed programs include "Text Chemistry" and "The Devotion System", both of which have helped thousands of women from around the world find (and keep) the man of their dreams.

One Comment

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  • Hello Amy!

    From article “Is he flirting or just being nice” I’m interest with number 8 about he find ways to meet you. What if he takes way too long to meet me for our first date? Because everytime i or him ask each other, we don’t have the match time. Should I ask him first again? What should I text to him?

    Thank you Amy, btw love your video on youtube and I already subscribe you ((:

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