Often we hear stories about the ultimate wingman, the guy who is flawless at helping his pals hit it off smoothly with women. Today I want to talk about being a wingwoman.
This is important because if you’re going out with your single-and-looking girlfriend, then there’s a good chance that she’ll spot someone she’s interested in. This is where you come into play.
Being a good wingwoman is important for a few reasons.
First, it helps someone you care about meet men.
Second, you get to be a good judge of character for her – this is especially true if she’s the kind to start seeing stars the second a man walks in the room.
Third, you can bank on the fact that she’ll return the favour in the future.
That said, becoming a good wingwoman takes time and preparation because there’s more to it than meets the eye. On one hand you have to be the fun ice-breaker, on the other, you have to scheme a bit to get your friend and the man she’s into chatting, and finally, you have to vanish (not literally, but at least in conversation).
If you’re looking to become the perfect wing woman, keep these few pointers in mind.
1. Give a Good Pep Talk
So many women get shy or nervous when it comes to approaching or talking to a man they find attractive. This is why part of the wingwoman role is to pump your friend up so that she’s feeling on top of the world before she starts chatting with him.
To do so, remind her that any guy would be lucky to have her and let her know how great of a catch she is. As much as you may think she already knows this, it doesn’t hurt to remind her.
When you can make your girlfriend feel good about herself in a way that shines through with confidence then you’ll not only have an easier time transitioning the conversation over to her, but it’ll also do wonders for her game plan.
After all, men can spot a confident woman in a crowd, and that’s the kind of person they want to be with.
2. Strike Up a Conversation
As a wingwoman it’s your job to strike up a conversation with the guy your girlfriend is into. However, this goes beyond saying, “Hello, this is my friend *insert name here”. Instead you should be giving her a good opening to jump in the conversation, or perhaps even talking her up.
To do so, steer the conversation to something your friend enjoys and can contribute to. For instance, if you notice that he’s into the music playing then you can say something like, “My friend Megan here is loving this music too!” or if you see him drinking a cocktail then mention how awesome your friend is at mixing drinks.
Obviously you’ll want whatever subtly hints you drop to be true, so take time to read the situation and find a good common grounds for them to chat about. If you spew out a one liner and walk away from the situation then it’s going to be very awkward for everyone involved. Be patient, and read the signs.
Also important to note, while it’s crucial that you give your friend the spotlight, it’s equally as important to make sure that the situation stays smooth between the her and the potential suitor. If you notice the situation is getting uncomfortable then jump back in there and give it a positive boost or spice up the conversation. It may sound overbearing, but a great wing-woman makes sure that her friend doesn’t get in over her head or is left with nothing to talk about.
3. Hang with His Friends
Depending on the situation there may be other guys lingering around. Maybe they’re his buds, or perhaps they’re just other men looking to get lucky. As the wingwoman it’s your job to entertain these guys.
This doesn’t mean that you have to pretend to be interested in them to give your friend the floor, but rather that you may have to take one for the team by keeping them occupied. Doing so will help your friend stay focused on what she’s doing, so as much as you may want to tell them to get lost, keep calm and stay positive.
4. Know Your Boundaries
If you’re trying to get a guy interested in your friend then it’s important that you don’t make it seem like he has a shot with you. In fact, you don’t even want to interest him in you, so you’re going to want to avoid over-engaging with him.
Since you’re trying to help your friend pick up, you need to down-play your odds. Maybe this means toning down your cutesy act, or not mentioning all the awesome things you and him have in common. Just remember, the point here is to let her shine, so get in there, kick things off between him and her and vanish. The last thing you want to become is that chick who steals all the guys, so if you agree to be the wingwoman than remember that friendship is what’s important here.
5. Don’t Abandoned Her
I cannot stress enough how important is it that you don’t just introduce your friend to the guy and then disappear for the night. After all, you’re her wingwoman so it’s your job to make sure that the night runs smoothly!
If you feel bad vibes from the situation, get the impression that the guy is interested for the wrong reasons, or if you’re worried that your friend has had too much to drink, then get her out of there. As a wingwoman it’s your job to make sure that your friend is safe so you’ll need to consider her well-being.
Having a code word to get out of uncomfortable situations can come in handy here, so be sure this is something you ladies discuss beforehand.