Tinder and texting are two of the biggest ways to communicate with potential partners these days.
Messaging on Tinder and texting may look the same but the truth is they’re actually completely different. You’re probably thinking…
“Amy, we’re sending each other messages back and forth on our phones. It’s the exact same.”
But there are key differences that you need to know that effect what your messages mean and what he’s thinking when he reads them.
The same message in a different app can have an entirely different meaning.
This is something that people don’t really think about but it’s SO important if you want to take things to the next step.
Tinder vs. Texting
Here are a few ways texting is different from Tinder. By the end of this video you’ll know why I think texting is a way better way to get dates and a better way to communicate with guys. Plus I’ll give you a sample message to send that will make him text you right away.
Tinder is for dating, texting is for everyone
Here’s one for the Tinder column. If you two match on Tinder, you know that you have mutual attraction and you’re there for romantic reasons and, it’s true, you can find great guys on Tinder.
This is great because it eliminates a lot of the grey area that exists in texting. Say you’re texting a cute guy from work but you’re not sure if he’s just interested in you for your powerpoint skills.
If you match on Tinder, you at least have reason to believe you’re both single and looking.
This prevents miscommunication and fosters flirting when compared to text messages.
Many of my clients tell me that they often like a guy in real life and don’t get together until they match on Tinder. This is because it shows mutual attraction and lets the two of you take the next step with less fear of rejection.
That said there are people who claim to join Tinder to find friends. If you match with one of these guys, run the other way.
Texting is faster
On Tinder you’re not expected to message back as fast as you are over text.
Only 20% of people on Tinder are active daily whereas 97% of people text on a daily basis.
The average response time for a text message from guys is only 3 minutes.
But on Tinder, only 7% of guys even send a message to matches!
This is because texting is more commonplace. It’s more directly accessible as you can do it without wifi or data. Plus, text messages are more immediately accessible and go right to your phone whereas some people don’t have notifications on Tinder or even delete the app.
This doesn’t mean that Tinder users are somehow less considerate than people who only text. It’s simply means people know that people don’t message back as fast on tinder and so they know they don’t have to message back right away.
This creates a growing problem as people wait longer and longer to respond on Tinder. Eventually, it’ll be faster to just use telegraph.
That said, this can create a problem. Oftentimes women with text too much because it’s so accessible.
Texting is more intimate
On Tinder the people you’re talking to are all romantic interests. When you’re still talking on Tinder you’re in competition with a lot of other girls so things are more superficial and you’re both still trying to feel out if you’re compatible or not.
But texting is more for friends and family. That means if he’s texting you then things are automatically a bit more comfortable and less nervous on both ends.
Tinder talk is more like speed dating whereas texting has the potential to be more relaxed and in depth.
If you’re looking for more tips on how you can create the type of intimacy with your guy through text message, then I highly encourage you to check out my free video presentation. I can show you how to create the intimacy that only 1% of women actually ever experience!
You can send pictures with texting
On tinder they removed the photo message for obvious reasons. Over text you’re able to share photos, memes and more. This allows us to communicate in all sorts of different ways. Send a picture of you out and about. Send him a video of your dog. This is a great way to be memorable if you find you don’t always know what to say.
That said, this also brings the risk of the dreaded dick pic.
Tinder is more visual
On tinder they always have the option of looking at your bio and photos. There are a few reasons that this creates a problem.
They can see if you’re adding photos or changing up your bio and this can actually act as a deterrent.
I don’t know about you, but if I think a guy is constantly tweaking his tinder profile I get the sense that he’s something of a player or at least he’s a bit too into Tinder.
There’s also some scientific evidence to support the idea that the more often a guy sees a picture of a girl, the less attracted to her he is.
Think of it like a marriage. How many couples stop having sex and no longer find each other attractive after a few years together?
This can happen on a much smaller scale on Tinder.
If he looks at the same old pictures of you again and again, he’s going to get familiar with you and be less interested in meeting you in real life.
But over text all you get is the conversation. This makes him more eager to see you in real life as he can’t just look at a picture of you whenever he wants. This means more dates when you switch over to text.
Go From Tinder To Texting
So how can you move from Tinder to texting and up your chances of getting a date? It’s pretty simple.
First off, you need to establish contact with the guy on Tinder. Don’t just send him your number right away.
That makes you seem like a bot and most guys aren’t interested in dating Russian spammers.
Get a back and forth going. Don’t go for boring “how was your day” “what are your hobbies” type questions. Instead, keep things fun and flirty while texting.
Once you’ve had one positive interaction that is memorable, you can move things over to text.
So here’s your next move.
Just send this exact message to get him to text you…
“Hey, you seem really cool but I never check my tinder. Here’s my phone number, drop me a text if you’d like to chat more :)”
I promise, this works.
Guys are flattered to get your number and they take the conversation more seriously once you’ve taken that next step. This tiny step forward is a great way to bridge the gap between tinder and a first date and it shows him you’re truly interested in getting to know him.
If you’re looking for messages to send to a guy once you’re texting, you’re in luck. I’ve got a free video that will teach you the best texts to send to guys to get them hooked on you.
So let’s recap…
Texting is better than tinder because it’s more comfortable, less competitive and more expressive.
To get him to text you, just ask!
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