How Important Is Communication In A Marriage?

When asked what makes a marriage, most people would say “two partners and a commitment.” While this is true, there are actually many different elements needed for a marriage to thrive. There’s loyalty and love, dedication and determination, and the willingness to support one another over the years. However, at the root of all these requirements is communication.

The breakdown of communication can cause marital problems that will spread like a wildfire – which is why it’s one of the most vital ingredients for making a marriage work. Knowing why communication is important and what roles it plays in your relationship are keys to finding balance in your married life.

While many couples struggle with communication issues, the good news is these types of problems are usually easy to overcome, and surprisingly, it’s often a matter of simply removing bad habits and introducing new conversations.

So, why this art of interacting is so important? Here are the top five reasons why communication is the foundation for a successful marriage.

1: Communication Keeps a Couple Close

Distance between spouses doesn’t just happen overnight. It usually happens gradually over time, when couples suppress their feelings and don’t openly communicate.

Since we don’t have the power to read each others’ minds, it means that we must verbally share our thoughts, feelings, intentions and opinions with one another. In return, both spouses will also begin to open up. This openness can bring couples together and make them feel as one.

A great way to practice communicating with your spouse is by finding something you both enjoy doing, and doing it together. Not only will it give you both something to look forward to, but it also creates room for some shared quality time.

2: Communication Leaves No Room for Assumptions and Misunderstandings

Assumptions and misunderstandings are two big marriage killers. Unfortunately, it’s not tricky for them to creep into any relationship.

When a spouse doesn’t share particular information with their partner, it’s natural for the one left in the dark to think the worse. Once this partner begins having negative thoughts, it’s easy for mistrust and suspicion to grow. Like a cancer these rising tensions can threaten the marriage, especially if insecurities come into play.

All of these negative feelings are the result of a lack of communication. On the bright side, misunderstandings and assumptions can be easily avoided by simply talking to one another.

3: Communication Promotes Growth

When there is no communication in a relationship, growing and evolving together becomes impossible. As a result, stagnation sets in. When this happens couples become bored, complacent, and surrender to unhappiness.

To prevent this from happening, keep your talks original and communication open. Encourage genuine conversation by being cheerful, welcoming, and positive towards your spouse. In doing this it’s possible to learn new things about your partner and keep your flame alive.

Studies have shown that couples who communicate effectively report greater satisfaction in their marriage, are healthier, and in turn live longer. Couples with poor communication however, are often caught in a vicious cycle where their poor communication contributes to dissatisfaction, and their dissatisfied because of their inability to properly communicate.

So, while a lack of communication can hurt your relationship and prevent marital growth, healthy communication improves it.

4: Communication Prevents Infidelity

Keeping thoughts private, avoiding major conversations, and spending too much time alone are popular causes for an affair. This may not always be the case, but it is common for partners to look elsewhere when their spouse isn’t meeting their physical and emotional needs.

When spouses openly communicate their feelings and desires with one another, they’re not only given the opportunity to act on their partner’s wishes, but they also become outlets for each other. Being an outlet for your spouse to vent to, share secrets with, and explore their desires makes you a valuable part of their life – and in turn, is a great defense against infidelity.

The number one way to prevent cheating in your marriage is by staying open with your partner. Keep the lines of love, intimacy and adventure flowing, don’t keep secrets, share your desires and talk about your experiences. Through this kind of communication your relationship will be protected.

5: Communication Prevents Divorce

Did you know that a lack of communication is thought to be the number one reason for divorce? That just goes to show what the importance of communication is in a marriage.

Look at it this way. When two individuals come together in marriage, they are committing to creating a life together. But they are, after all, two separate individuals with their own likes and dislikes, values, beliefs and ideas. Without effective communication, how would it be possible to build a relationship, yet alone make a success of it? As a married couple, you need to know everything about the other person to be able to create a healthy and happy life with them. And that is exactly what communication provides, and why it’s so important.

If you’ve been struggling with communication in your marriage, don’t worry, now is the time to take action. It may take some time and practice to change your old habits, but it’s amazing how much the energy between spouses can change once this is improved. Good communication is the base of a strong marriage, and when you understand how it all fits together, you can make real progress in your relationship right away.

About Amy North

Amy North is a women's relationship coach and best-selling author from Vancouver, Canada. Her high-acclaimed programs include "Text Chemistry" and "The Devotion System", both of which have helped thousands of women from around the world find (and keep) the man of their dreams.

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  • Hi Amy, I have a question. My husband and I are both in our mid 40s. We’ve been married for 5 years and in a relationship for 8 years prior to that. I’ve noticed lately that the communication has dropped. We’ve both been busy recently and he had an assignment overseas where he stayed at the said job for some months. He has been acting cold lately, even after going home for Christmas. It’s just not the same as before. Is our marriage in trouble or am I overanalyzing? Could he just be tired from work or is this something more serious? Thanks. -Laura

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