You’ve met a man and think he may be “the one.” The only problem is he says he’s not looking for a relationship. What should you do when the guy you’re into isn’t ready to commit?
Most times when a guy says he’s not ready for a relationship it’s because he’s not wanting to give up his single lifestyle. Of course there are situations where his reasons are justified, for instance, a busy schedule or not being over his ex, but excuses aside, if he says he’s not ready to commit then your job is to change his mind.
Of course, no amount of begging or pleading is going to do the trick, and a negative attitude or harsh words won’t make him want to commit to you either. Trying to talk him into wanting a relationship also isn’t a wise move, because no man wants to feel tricked or sold on an idea that wasn’t his own. If you may him feel this way, he’ll make a run for it.
Instead you need to sympathize with him. To do this, you’ll want to agree with him, and almost encourage that he backs away from a relationship with you at this time. For example, if your guy says he’s not ready then you can say something like this:
“It seems like you need to be on your own for a while to figure out what you want. I just want you to be happy, so if you need to be alone I understand. I hope I’m still here when you are ready, but until then I need to be with someone who is 100% certain that they want to be with me.”
This is the kind of response works wonders for making him want to commit to a relationship for a three reasons.
1. He’ll be surprised you’re cool with him not being ready, and will love that you’re so agreeable and kind. The fact that you care about his happiness will speak volumes and this alone will make him realize he’s found someone special.
2. When you make the idea of him being alone sound like a good option, it’s going to become less attractive and make him question if it’s what he really wants. This bit of reverse psychology also shows you’re not selling yourself or a relationship to him, in fact, you’re doing the opposite. This will give the impression you’re being genuine.
3. Letting him know you won’t wait around and that you want to be with someone who wants to be with you too shows you love and respect yourself too much to settle for less. This will make him realize that if he doesn’t scoop you up someone else will, which will without out get him moving.
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- Why He Doesn’t Text Back (Try This!) - August 14, 2018