There’s no denying that phones are a big part of where we live our romantic lives. Since everyone and their mother seems to have and carry around a cell phone in today’s world, making a man obsess over you can be as easy as sending him the right text messages. But, what are the “right text messages” and which ones will have the opposite effect?
Before I jump into the messages you should be sending your guy, I want to first talk a bit about the types of text messages you shouldn’t send him, because believe me, even if you send him the most heavenly texts, the wrong ones can be huge deal breakers.
No More Boring Text Messages
For starters, the generic “hey, hello, or what’s up” texts. These messages suck because they don’t do anything to stir up emotion in your guy, and not to mention they make you seem incredibly boring.
While I’m talking about these dull messages, it’s also worth mentioning that sending your man updates on your every move isn’t a good idea either. Believe me, as much as you think it’s the end of the world that the coffee shop is out of your favourite bagel, or how you’re feeling bloated from your weekend of partying, he doesn’t care, nor does he want to know. Sure, you may be smitten, but you’re not doing yourself any favours by sending these mundane types of text messages
Same goes for sending him “what are you up to messages.” Why? Because if he doesn’t willingly tell you what he’s doing then it’s probably because he doesn’t feel it’s worth sharing. When you send him these kind of text messages it’ll seem like a chore for him to respond to you… which is 100% the opposite of what you want if you’re looking to make him obsessed with you.
Don’t wait for him to text you back
And at all costs avoid sitting around, staring at a black screen, desperately waiting for him to reply to you. This is important for a couple reasons. First, if you respond too quickly it will give him the impression that you’re sitting around, waiting to hear from him. Second, it comes across as clingy, and third, responding too quickly implies that you have no life outside of him and the relationship.
To prevent this from happening, keep busy! By doing so it’ll help you fight the urge to text him back too soon, and not to mention, it’ll give you something new to tell him about when he asks how your day was. In those scenarios where you don’t have much happening when he texts, still make a point to hold back for at least a few minutes to give him the impression that you’re busy with other things.
Not making his text messages your number one priority will give you time to do other things that keep you active and happy, and time to properly think about your response.
Of course if you’re in the middle of a conversation with him, or he asks you a question that is time sensitive and needs a quick reply, then don’t leave him hanging. If you do, you risk coming across as self-centered or rude. Be respectful of his needs, too.
Grammar and spelling are important
Don’t think this is a real issue? Just Google search it and you’d be amazed at some of the cringeworthy misspellings you find. Or, learn from my friend’s experience. He was seeing a girl who would text “hoo,” as in “H-O-O” when referring to “who” as in “W-H-O.” He tried giving her the benefit of the doubt, and hoped it was just a strange auto-correct or voice to text memo, but after she sent him the same misspelt version of “hoo” multiple times, he realized that he couldn’t be with someone who lacked such basic intelligence. Sure, you can argue that breaking up for that reason is shallow, but hey, the truth hurts sometimes, and men aren’t into poor grammar.
Last but certainly not least, don’t get over invested in text messaging. If you make the deadly mistake of bantering back and forth with your guy for hours on end, there you leave little reason for him to want to see you, because let’s face it, he’ll feel like he’s spent all day with you simply by texting.
Text Messages To Make Him Obsess Over You
Again, there are exceptions here, as in, you shouldn’t bail cold turkey on a conversation, but when possible avoid the relentless texting back and forth. It won’t lead to anything more and it’s a quick way to kill the spark.
Now that I’ve covered all these texting DON’T, let’s talk about the kind of texts that WILL make a man obsessed over you.
1. “Comical” Text
Simply put it’s a light-hearted, humorous text to make the guy you’re into laugh. Since laughter is one of the easiest ways to a man’s heart, by being that witty, whimsical woman that every man dreams of finding, you’re sure to make him obsess over you.
That said, careful not to turn everything into a joke and don’t add “LOL” or “haha” to every text message. Instead, reserve it for the actually funny messages you send and receive. If you’re saying, “I wish you were here right now, LOL”… well, you’re going to confuse him. Instead know when you should use comical texts and when to keep your conversation serious. Oh, and always be choose your jokes wisely, especially if you’re just getting to know the guy you’re texting. One distasteful text message can wreak havoc on your chances.
2. The “Q&A” Text
Don’t be fooled though, this isn’t your typical Question and Answer, it stands for Question and Arouse!
These are the kind of texts you want to send a man to show him that you’re interested in getting to know him better. However, instead of sending mundane or dry questions like “What are you up to” or “How was your day?” you’re going to want to turn up the heat with these ones to get his fiery obsession burning. For instance texting him something like “What are you wearing right now?” or “What do you want me to do to you later?” can get him aroused more than you may expect. That said, he may not realize why exactly you’re asking him these things so be patient here.
For instance, if you ask him what he’s wearing and he replies with “Jeans and a t-shirt. Why? Are we going somewhere?” then you can reply with a sassy, seductive, “No, I just wanted to know what I’ll be taking off you tonight.” Of course you’ll want to be sparse with these because if they become redundant or excessive then they may start to lose their charm, or he may think that you’re just in it for sex.
3. The “Life Lover” Text
So, what is this kind of message? Well, the best way to explain it is it’s a text that expresses your confidence and love for life. The key here is to keep your message positive and radiating with passion for life.
Maybe it seems commenting on what a wonderful day you’re having, or perhaps it means telling him all about the praise you got from your boss.
Whatever you choose, just make sure that your words tell the story of a woman who is bold, brave, knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to take it! When you do, he can’t help but be attracted to you and this is the first step to creating lasting love.
4. The “Nude Illusion” Text
A hot text message:“Gotta run, I have to go buy a bikini,” A hotter one: “I’m going to take a long, hot shower.” The hottest: “Guess who’s not wearing any panties.”
As vastly different as these three examples are, all will get your guys gears turning and yes, he’ll be imagining you naked. So, if you’re looking to steal his attention for the day by making him unable to focus on anything but the thoughts of your nude body, then these are the kinds of flirty texts to get him obsessed.
What’s even better is that by slowly “letting him in” and giving him more dirty details than you would any other male friend, you’re also giving him a tiny taste of what dating you would be like.
Just don’t go overboard here, and definitely don’t send nude photos, no matter how much he begs. Instead, make him work for the prize, after all, if you just give it to him, then where’s the chase?
Oh, and don’t be afraid to throw in a winking emoji here and there; those can help send the message that you’re aware you’re messages may be turning him on.
5. The “Tickle His Senses” Text
The point here is to give him a little taste of your sensual side, but to leave him wanting more. In order to send these texts successfully you’re going to want to avoid being too direct with him. Besides, if he knows he can have you at the snap of a finger then he might start to lose interest. At the same time, it’s crucial that he knows you’re at least a little bit into him.
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As a relationship coach, you’d be surprised how often I hear from women who are confused as to why they can’t get the guy, only to find out that they haven’t actually been showing him any interest. Since guys fear rejection, it’s important to show him know that you’re interested. The key is to be subtle.
To do so, flirt with him, laugh lots and throw a compliment his way. Tickle all of his senses with descriptive words that will let him visualize what it would be like to be with you. When you can be the one who makes him feel good, then there’s no reason why he wouldn’t want to be with you.