The guy who was once into is now showing little interest, or perhaps even told you his feelings have changed. How can you get him to like you again?
Whether it’s an ex, a crush, or someone you were casually seeing, when the spark fades it can feel like all hope is lost. The good news is this is not the case. In fact, because you held his heart before, it’s easy to do so again.
Often times people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, and just because he’s not into you right now, it doesn’t mean he won’t start to miss you and redevelop romantic feelings… if you play your cards right.
If you make it known to the guy who’s no longer into you that you’re devastated about his change of heart, or desperate to reignite his feelings towards you, then he’s not going to suddenly like you again. In fact, the opposite is likely to happen, and that’s he’ll be glad he got away.
If you’re thinking “I’m not acting desperate,” then it’s important to rethink your actions and behaviour. Have you sent sad messages to make him feel guilty about losing feelings, or unintentionally gave him the cold shoulder? Have you been shooting him dirty looks, or sad puppy dog eyes? These actions tell him you’re upset about the situation.
What most women don’t realize is that men and women are SO different when it comes to break ups and rebuilding attraction.
For starters, women are more likely to get back together with a man if they feel bad for him, or worry about his well-being or loneliness. The reality is our emotions play a huge role when deciding whether or not to get back together with someone.
Men, on the other hand, can’t be guilted into taking you back, and if you do manage to win him over it’s only a matter of time until he realizes he was dubbed into it and calls it quits again. This will bring you right back to where you are now, and trying to stir up romantic feelings a third time will be much tougher.
If you can’t give him puppy dog eyes, beg him to be with you, or send nasty looks, how can you get a guy to like you again?
The number one thing to make a man develop romantic feelings for you again is to act like you don’t care that he’s changed his mind about you.
Guys like working to win women over, which is why if you act like him changing his mind about you doesn’t bother you then it’s going to introduce a new challenge for him. Acting unphased will also make him wonder why you’re unbothered by the situation, and make him question if he’s made a mistake losing you. After all, if he was that great you’d be upset about his change of heart, but since you’re not… maybe you were the catch that got away. This is a great way to reverse roles and get him chasing you again.
However, this doesn’t mean you get to sit around and wait for him to come back – that’s not going to work. Instead there are some key things you need to do to make him feel overwhelmed with desire for you.
Change the Way You Think
This can feel as daunting as climbing Mount Everest in a bikini, but if you want to make him like you again, then it’s important you show him YOU LIKE YOU. To do this, think positively. Don’t get beat up because he has a lapse in feelings, but instead use this time to remind him why he fell for you in the first place.
When you think about yourself, envision a strong, independent, happy woman, ready to take on the world. This mindset may be tough at first, but practice makes perfect and this really does work.
The are loads of other things you can do to help boost your confidence, too! For instance, make smiling a part of your daily outfit, and stand tall with your head high. Since it’s tough to feel anything down when your body is speaking so positively, you’ll find it much easier to adopt a pleasant, positive mindset.
More concrete ideas are to leave yourself notes with your favourite inspirational quotes, and to revamp your wardrobe so you feel great getting dressed. One extra sneaky confidence booster is wearing sexy lingerie. Even if no one sees it, just knowing what you have tucked under your outfit will make you feel like a seductive vixen.
Keep Yourself Busy
There’s a good chance he expects you to be down. By keeping busy and loving life it’ll not only surprise him, but it may even stir up jealousy that he’s not included.
Since you don’t want to be communicating with him right now – you’re “too busy” for that – use social media and mutual friends to relay messages to him. For example, posting attractive photos of you and friends having a good time, and checking into hot spots around town on Facebook will show him you’re not sitting around wishing he was still into you. This can be helpful for making him realize what he’s missing.
Mutual friends are great for sharing stories, subtly of course, with the guy you’re into. For instance, if you went to a party on the weekend, a mutual friend can casually relay the message that you had a blast together. This will make him wish he was a part of your night out, and remind him how much fun you are to be around.
Why can’t you tell him this yourself? Because you want to give him space right now.
A question I get asked often is: “Won’t he forget about me if I give him space after his feelings have changed?”
The simple answer is no. Yes, giving him space may seem counterproductive, but it’ll give him the chance to miss having you in his life. When this happens he’ll reach out to you again.
Look Good On a Regular Basis
Comb your hair and iron your clothes. Look clean and smell fresh. You don’t have to go over the top with stilettos and mini skirts, but instead looking well groomed will take you far.
Since this man had feelings for you in the past, he may have told you some of his personal favourites of yours. For instance, maybe he shared that he loves seeing you in sundresses, or perhaps jeans are his thing. If you know his favourites, use this information to your advantage and wear something he likes. Be careful not to over do it and exclusively wear these pieces because soon enough he realizes what’s going on.
Start small. Ask how his weekend was, smile when you see him, make eye contact, and laugh at his jokes. Tell him exciting stories when he asks what you’ve been up to and radiate happiness. When you ooze positivity and playfulness you’ll have him inching closer to you.
Avoid going from zero to one hundred when giving him attention. If you’ve been keeping some distance lately then don’t make him the center of your world again. It’s fine to hint that you’re interested, but if you cross the line between interested and obsessed, you will come across needy.
Once you’re chatting more frequently, stir up romantic feelings by recalling something fun you experienced together. For instance, a night out together, a party you both attended, or a meal you shared. Don’t go overboard or jump right into sexual experiences, but instead remind him of times you know meant something to him.
If you want to bring up a sexual memory, do so subtly. For instance, let’s say the two of you first got intimate after a steamy night in a blues bar. Instead of talking about the sexual interaction, talk about the blues bar. Talking through the memory in detail will allow him to mentally picture the scenario. The more vivid you do so, the more he’ll think into it and end up at the sex scene. Careful not to over do it or you’ll give the impression that you’re trying to win his affection.
Another way to introduce flirting is by complimenting him. Since guys love to be told they look good, make a point to acknowledge his physical appearance. Telling him he looks nice will have a huge impact on his feelings towards you.
Pointers From Men:
Don’t be obvious.
Guys don’t like to feel manipulated so it’ll do you no good when it comes to winning his affections. Instead play it cool.
Don’t make yourself unapproachable.
The key is balance: give him space, but don’t make him feel like you’re intentionally ignoring him. He needs to know there’s hope in winning you over and that you won’t reject him if he approaches you.
This is the toughest tip, especially when feeling smitten or longing for things to be how they once were. However, guys know when you’ll bend over backwards for them, and it’s a huge turn off. Don’t seem desperate, and again, play it cool.