We’ve all been in a situation where we’ve let a guy get the best of us. Maybe it was because you “cared too much” or maybe it was because he was a giant tease, or strung you along while you believed that what you were sharing was real.
I’m going to teach you some helpful ways to control your emotions when it comes to men.
Believe me, I know how tough it can be to not fall hard and fast when you seem to click with a guy, or to cry your eyes out when you feel disappointed or let down.
But letting a guy get the best of you and your emotions isn’t healthy, especially if you’re looking to build a lasting, loving relationship. The good news is that even though you may not realize it just yet, you have complete control over your emotions.
Let’s talk about the three steps you need to learn and follow to control your emotions.
Step 1: Identify your feelings
This means that before you react to any given situation, it’s important that you take time to define what you’re feeling, and why.While it’s one thing to know you’re feeling annoyed or upset, determining why you feel the way you do is a whole other challenge.
However, taking the time to do so is one of the best moves you can make because it’ll not only prevent you from reacting irrationally, but it will also put you more in tune with what makes you tick.
Next time you feel your emotions bubbling up inside, be they good or bad, take a moment to mentally play through the scenario.
Some women find keeping a journal of their emotions helps to master them, so if you think it could work for you, give it a try!
If you find that you’re having a hard time digging deep and thinking through your feelings then try removing yourself from the scenario.
I know this sounds counterproductive, but when you think about it, we’re all so good at processing situations when we’re not apart of them – for example, when a friend tells you how she’s feeling given a situation, it’s easy to conclude whether or not she’s being ridiculous or overreacting.
Pretend as though your situation is happening to someone else. Ask yourself what the rational way for that person to react would be, then compare it to your own feelings.
Step 2: Breathe
Whether you’re bursting with joy or drowning in sorrow, it’s important that you take a moment to breathe. Since the point of this video is to teach you how to control your emotions when it comes to men, it’s crucial that you stay in charge of your feelings, regardless of if they are positive or negative.
Now you may be thinking, “But Amy, don’t you want me to feel extreme happiness” and the answer is OF COURSE I DO! However, it’s again important that you don’t give any man total control of your emotions. So, after you’ve identified what you’re feeling and why, you need to take a breather and stay grounded.
Why? Because your emotions are created by how you think and your physical responses. For example, when you’re feeling upset or angry your brain processes your body’s physical reactions like a quickened heartbeat, increased body temperature and dry mouth before it can interpret the emotion to be “anger.” By controlling your breathing, you’re able to counter and even avoid these physical reactions, which means your brain won’t be so quick to process your emotions.
Follow these steps when you start to get upset:
- breathe normally a few times
- inhale slowly through your nose, allowing your chest and belly to fill and expand with air
- close your eyes
- exhale slowly through your mouth or nose
Do this ten times and the impact it’ll have on your mood and emotions is unbelievable!
Also, when you’re feeling less than awesome, make a point to keep your chin up, literally. Your moods manifest themselves physically, and the way you carry yourself will impact how you feel. This is why it’s possible to control your emotions simply with your face. For instance, by keeping your mouth and jaw relaxed, you’ll feel much more pleasant than if they’re tight and clenched.
Besides, if you let a man know if has that much power over your feelings then you risk scaring him off or letting him take advantage of you. Instead you need to stay in charge, and only let your emotions shine through after you’ve given yourself time to breathe.
Step 3: Know Your Worth
At the end of the day, the only person who should be able to control your emotions is you, and a big part of being able to do so is knowing your worth. This means that no matter how hard you’re falling for a man, how smitten he makes you feel, or how bad he hurt you, you need to understand that giving someone else that much power over your emotions is not healthy.
Instead carry yourself with the mentality that any man would be lucky to have you, and the one who does get you will treat you with that same respect. It can be tough to get in this mindset, especially if you have a habit of doing otherwise, but as they say, practice makes perfect.
When you can be the kind of woman who knows her worth, and understands what she has to offer a relationship it will make it a million times easier to control your emotions so that you don’t get in over your head. It’s sort of like safeguarding your heart. You don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment, so by realizing you’re the prize to be won, and reminding yourself daily that you’re in the driver’s seat, you’ll be in full control in no time.