A problem many women face after a relationship ends is not understanding what they did wrong, or why their love life ran dry.
To help keep you informed, here are the top five relationship killers.
1. Acting Clingy
If your entire day revolves around your man then we have a problem. Expecting your guy to communicate with you constantly, to always be by your side, or to rearrange his life to suit your needs are clear signs of clinginess.
Sometimes clingy behaviour isn’t as obvious, and instead takes the form of being emotionally needy. When this happens women find themselves upset if their guy doesn’t involve them in every plan, or they need daily reassurance that he still likes and finds her attractive. This kind of desperation is far from attractive, and it doesn’t take long for men to grow tired of it.
The number one reason why men fear commitment is because they don’t want to lose their freedom. This is why when you act clingy, it doesn’t take long for him to find the door.
Instead of letting your emotions get the best of you it’s important to learn how to be your own person. This means having your own interests outside of the relationship, keeping busy with friends, and doing the things you’re into. Focusing on other areas of your life will not only keep your head clear and attitude positive, but it will also give your guy a chance to miss you when you’re not around – this is one of the best ways to keep the spark alive between the two of you, but it’s not possible when you act clingy.
2. Acting Insecure
Think for a moment about the early days of your relationship. You probably felt like a million bucks around your man, and the buzz you shared was infectious. Over time though, those initial butterflies may start to fade, and when they do it’s not uncommon for feelings of doubt to come creeping in.
If this happens you might find yourself over analyzing or looking for small changes or reasons why you think your man is losing interest in you and the relationship. Unfortunately, this is a vicious circle situation, because if you’re bugging him about these things, then he’s bound to get bored of your insecurities and leave.
Overcoming insecure feelings can be tough, but the first step in doing so is to recognize these tendencies in yourself. In fact, you may think the questions you ask about his female co-workers or comments you make about his dating history are justified, but to him, they’re much heavier and scream insecure.
Of course you’ll have days when you feel less than awesome, but when those feelings come creeping in it’s important to keep them under wraps and don’t unleash them on your man. A good tip for getting into a positive, confident headspace is to stop focusing on the past or the future, and instead enjoy the moment.
3. Acting Abusively
Some people believe it’s okay to take out their daily frustrations on their partner, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Sure, you might get upset with your guy from time to time, but there is never an excuse to verbally, emotionally, or physically abuse him. This kind of behaviour is a guaranteed relationship killer.
Now you may be thinking, “I’d never do that!” –that’s what most women say. What so many ladies fail to realize though is that words do more damage than you may think, so what to you is simply venting, is actually belittling and harmful to your man. To complicate the situation even further, most times guys won’t show that what you’ve said has upset him, and instead they choose to bottle it up.
Since we all like being around people who make us feel good, if you’re doing the opposite and constantly putting your man down, calling him names, or criticizing him, then you’re going to be the last woman he’ll want to be with. To prevent this from happening think before you speak and keep your words kind.
4. Control Issues
If you’re constantly calling the shots, telling your guy how to act, or trying to “fix him,” then he’s going to make a run for it. If he feels he has to compete to get his voice heard or as though he has no control over the relationship, it’s only a matter of time until he calls it quits.
Since relationships are about two people coming together to create something special together, if only one of you is laying down the law then the relationship will become a ticking time bomb.
The scary thing with control issues is that they aren’t always obvious. In fact, you may be controlling without even realizing it, or mistaken these tendencies as “winning because he cares about you.” It sounds dumb, but something as simple as being the one who chooses what shows you watch, or what you eat for dinner on a regular basis, all stems back to control issues. To avoid this be sure that you’re asking for his input and taking his preferences into consideration. Even if the two of you barely agree on anything, relationships are about give and take, so be sure you’re playing a role in both parts of that.
Everyone has a different idea for what constitutes as cheating, so it’s important that you and your man set some boundaries and establish what constitutes as being unfaithful. This may sound unnecessary, but you’d be surprised by what some people consider cheating to be, and to prevent this kind of heartache, you have to first know it.
Since cheating is the ultimate betrayal it can be hard to bounce back once a partner has been unfaithful. To avoid this situation be completely transparent with your man, and tell him about any uncomfortable situations you may find yourself in.
For instance, let’s say you’re out with the girls and a handsome stranger tries putting the moves on you. As much as your man may not want to hear about other guys coming onto you, hearing it from you is much better than hearing it from someone else who may have witnessed it.
Lastly, remember that double standards don’t exist in a healthy relationship, so if you’re behaving one way and have different expectations for your man then the relationship is going to crumble. Instead make a point to be fair and treat him and the relationship the same way as you’d like him to.
At the end of the day, all men want to be with a woman who brings something positive to his life, not one who sucks the life out of him. If you’re acting like a leech, putting him down, trying to call all the shots, or sneaking around behind his back, then you’re going to lose him.